Executor Support in Vancouver

[johnfrwhipple]

I had lunch today with a friend and client and he told me about his new business. Turns out that Gregg has started doing executor support and administration for Vancouver locals who are over whelmed with the shear amount of paperwork and running around that comes with looking after a loved ones estate.

Seems to me that this would have been a great help to me and my wife when we lost her mother a few years back. The banks are charging a massive amount for this same service and I think Gregg is onto a great new business.

I remember the stress my wife was under and wish we knew services like this existed back then.

What other service type companies are out there that makes these crazy times easier?

Thanks for the new forum Terry - I look forward to the new insights...

[Susan Moore]

I found this posting through Google and have had the opportunity to meet with Gregg Medwid from Executor Support. Gregg has an incredible amount of experience and value add to the services he provides as he also monitors all estate finances.

We are working together collaboratively as the services we provide do overlap and there is certainly a growing number of support services available to those going through end of life and bereavement issues. My company, Bell Alliance Transitions Bereavement & Life Management Support Inc. is a social business (all profits directed to the support of local charities and subsidization of user fees) and we are facing some of the same challenges as Gregg's company - informing and educating the public regarding the existence and accessiblity of these services. So many people feel they are obligated to take on all of the responsibility associated with caregiving, end of life and executorships and most dohn't know that there is support available.

Grief - before and after the death of a loved one - impacts congitive abilities and makes normal tasks sometimes unbearable. Anyone who has had to act as an executor or primary caregiver understands how much work is involved and how many split second decisions need to be made. Those who willingly (or unwillingly) artake on responsibility for end of life care or estate disposition, also understand the importance of having all their legal affairs in order (Wills, Representation Agreements, Powers of Attorney).

Thank you for starting this discussion - end of life issues unfortunately carry a lot of a taboo and we are often faced with feeling inadequate if we can't 'get over it' within a 'reasonable' amount of time and with a minimal amount of outside support.

For those in need of support, please visit Gregg's website www.executorsupport.ca or Bell Alliance Transitions at www.bellalliancetransitions.com.

[johnfrwhipple]

I have been called a few times over the years to call on an aging parent by someone who lives overseas and wanting me to asses their parents home. I have been googling this subject and can not believe how many companies are popping up.

I think for the plumbers and electricans and builders like myself it could all most be a part time job doing site inspections and repairs when needed. I see more and more Private Nurses and Meals and Wheels type companies. With our aging population are any of you men out here looking into these business niches?

Caring for our three kids, running a company, coaching soccer and on and on - who has time to do more. I need another 6 hours in each day...

JW

[Terry]

When my father died, I spent part of that year building a back addition onto my parents home, which was good since my mother had lost the man that she had loved for the previous 47 years. It was good to be around for her, start and finish a large project for her, a project that had been on my fathers "to do" list. He had originally put some sketches together, and I took those and made building plans on AutoCad for the building department. They were the first AutoCad drawings for permit that the City of Bellevue had ever seen turned in.
Now when I go over there to visit, the back addition is a reminder of what my dad would have had, it was meant to be an office for him.
My mother still lives in that house, it's been twentyone years since. And yes, it is tough for those left behind. This year we went with my mother to the place she and dad used to go in the Winter, Oahu in Hawaii. She had wonderful memories of their time there together. This year, it was a great time for me and the kids, and mom. At 93, we still got her out swimming in the ocean.

[johnfrwhipple]

The "To Do List"...

That's great Terry you got your Mom in the water at 93... I lost my step dad some 10 years ago and "The To Do List" was a painful reminder of the tasks he had never gotten around to. My Mom's good friend Paul and I work a number of days with my Brother in Law and more friends to wrap it all up. I don't know if the list getting finished made my mom happier or sadder but it was nice to see that list gone from the home.

Funny the little things we put off - sometimes checking of lists gives a great sense of relief. I know when I wrap things up and cross things of my wife's list I feel less stress in my life. I have a huge list as we speak and am working on checking things of each day...

JW

[Cookie]

One of the best things a loved one can do for someone who lost someone close is to give them space. People grieve at different times, some it will take longer, some will never stop grieving and it is hard no matter what to move on, the answer is just not to push that person, give them space. People mean well, but when they keep pushing the person to go out, they will try to do it for you, they will start to pretend life is normal, and it hinders that person to heal. That is what happened to me, when my husband died. I was left without parents who had already been deceased, I had 2 sons to raise, a house starting to have all kinds of problems, and cancer for added fun. People's good intentions pushed me into taking pills to numb the pain, to numb my disappointment I felt in myself that I was having a hard time keeping it all together, and feeling like I was born to lose, so, I choose to end it all. The pills I took should had done the trick, but instead I woke up 2 days later with a pounding headache, and a different attitude. Instead, I tried to take one thing at a time, slowly figuring things out on my time, and, here I am 5 years later, doing all kinds of things. Not making enough money, lol, but all other kinds of things. My kids are great, my house still sucks, lol, but lately, the toilet was reset and that works great, I have learned what matters and what doesn't and, no matter what, I try very hard and that makes me a success. My advice to those grieving, and to those who they love, is to just be with them, don't give too much advice, like take a vacation, maybe, they can't afford, or push them back to work, or tell them to date, or you will find someone else, just give them space to sort things out or the consequences could be deadly.

[johnfrwhipple]

I thought I would bounce back into this thread and tell you all about my meeting yesterday with Susan Moore of Bell Alliance Transitions. Susan called me on the weekend and asked if I could come down to her office and let her and her partners know exactly what it is that I do for my clients here in Vancouver.

It almost felt like a "Job Interview" and you could see the level of professionalism her and her partners have and want to continue to maintain. It became clear to me that no recommendations are given from Susan and her team until they have had a chance to "Meet" and "Interview" the person or company they would refer to their client.

I asked Susan a ton of question about exactly what it is they do and the list goes on and on. Seems to me that if your parent or loved one lives in another town - tracking down a firm like Susan's would make life so much easier. I asked Susan for a breakdown of their services and was surprised to see they offer up such a broad service base.

I know when we lost my Mother in Law and when I lost my Step Dad that the amount of paperwork and running around was off the chart. It would have been easier having help with this and then I would have had more time to spend with my Mom and my wife. Instead of organizing sandwiches and having to meet with lawyers, I could made tea and offered up a shoulder to cry on.

I hope I measure up and will be recommended by Susan's team. With all the advice online and on TV it is nice to see that some people and some companies take the time to check references and do interviews of sorts. I won't hesitate to refer Susan to my clients - I was blown away by her knowledge in this business. A business I did not even know existed until just a few weeks ago.

For the plumbers out here on Terry's Forum I think like here in Vancouver your own towns will have companies like Bell Alliance. I might suggest you make contact and offer up your services. With the aging population this little "Niche Industry" is surely going to continue to grow. Often I'm told when a spouse passes on the day by day becomes ever harder and simple acts like taking a bath or showering are impossible with out assistance. Converting tubs into ADA showers would be a great help to many and it is this service that I'm sure I will be asked to preform for Susan's clients.

Check into who does bereavement, executor and life management support in your town. I bet they are looking for tradesmen in your town just like here in Vancouver.

Everyone needs a Good Plumber!

JW