Toilet flange troubles

[Rymac]

Hello all, I'm currently diy on a tiny 1/2 bath reno. Almost every plumber in a plumbing forum has said to install the toilet flange on top of the finished floor, which makes sense to me, yet EVERY youtube or image search shows the flange either mounted to the sub or somewhere Below the finished floor. Each toilet's instructions say that it should be no more than 1/4 above the ff/which is Not on top.
I am now on my 3rd toilet purchase and am considering throwing it out the window.

Final toilet (so far) is a toto drake; under-clearance 5/8.

Using a standard, home depot, oatey pvc flange which measures 7/16, the drake sits flat but almost touching the flange, as soon as I add the ring (I know, more debate about wax v rubber: went with the oatey better-than-wax rubber as I was told an older house (this one is 225) shifts more) the toilet is wildly rocking...not shim-it rocking, but, problem rocking.
Even with plain wax I'll only have 3/16 which seems not nearly enough space.

The sub floor - new 3/4 ply
The floor new 3/4 poplar
all extremely flat and level.

I've tried the stainless steel for a flatter flange but still, it wobbles.

Sorry to keep this debate going, but, I'm losing my mind.

Thinking I have to carefully cut a larger hole with a lip to keep the flange from being too low or too high?!

Any advice is Much appreciated.

 

[Master Plumber Mark]

It should be fine if it is on top of the finished floor,,,,,
just try setting it in place and you will see its gonna work ok

 

[Sponsor]

 

[Reach4]

Each toilet's instructions say that it should be no more than 1/4 above the ff/which is Not on top.

I don't think so.

Even with plain wax I'll only have 3/16 which seems not nearly enough space.

With plain wax, 1/16 would be enough clearance.

I've tried the stainless steel for a flatter flange but still, it wobbles.

Wobbling is not necessary from rocking on the closet flange. If it rocks on the closet flange, you have negative clearance, which is not good. It is normal to need shims to prevent rocking due to toilet bottoms and maybe floors not being totally flat..

 

[Master Plumber Mark]

Many toilet flanges are not perfectly flat on the floor and they still work fine...
I have seen them a 1/2 inch above the floor and it still passed good enough

just set the toilet and go buy a tube of AlexDap clear caulking for 4 bucks and put a large bead
of caulking around the base of the toilet when you are done setting it....
Take your fore-finger and press the clear
caulking under around the toilet base and then wipe off the excess with a wet rag...
It will set up clear overnight and I promise its gonna be as hard as a rock sitting on that floor