Pat downs

If God had intended for man to fly he would have given him wings.

Flying has become very inconvenient these days. I remember not that long ago, tipping the sky cap and getting royal treatment. Hardly any point now, they shuffle us about like so much cattle. I really miss the peanuts too.

Flying First Class is OK, which I do from time to time. I enjoy the caviar, the pyjamas, the slippers, the duvet and the pillow.

And the attendants are always pleased to see you. Unlike in business class.