Kind of disappointed nobody here knows enough to tell me what this is.
Seems its either a delta or a tuscany brand shower valve.
the reason it wouldnt come out is the genius who installed it only drilled the holes large enough for the small end of the cap to come through, once I enlarged the holes it just came out the front.
******* had a tuscany brand cartridge kit with valve seats and and the long extensions that worked once I ground down the end closest to the valve handle so it went to the end of the retaining cap.
(the shinier part where my water pump pliers had scraped it).
No leaks now.
Hope this helps someone else out in the future. When installing a new shower valve make sure you can remove all components for replacement later.
This awful shower enclosure is the last thing in this house I havent demo'd and replace yet, mainly because its ONLY a 1 bath home. But its coming up now. SOON.