Okay, let's help you a little here.
First of all, no need to get a new toilet. Total overreaction, but understandable in that we don't like it when things don't work.
Second, the 3060BP should work just fine in your toilet. Korky makes flappers that Toto installs in its toilets at the factory. Thousands of folks have used them on their Drakes, so no problem.
The correct setting for your original Drake is 6. The setting only affects how quickly it closes after flushing. It should have no effect whatsoever on whether it leaks after the tank has filled.
Here's a little thing on the anatomy of a toilet, so we will be on the same page:
http://korky.com/anatomy.html
If I understand it correctly, you only are having problems currently with the one toilet. Your husband thinks that the thing is "off center". Probably not. The flush valves are molded, so the pegs or whatever you want to call them should be in the same place on every valve. And it worked fine before. More likely, the flapper isn't being pulled straight up, or is binding on the pegs. Easy enough to fix. First, try removing and reinstalling the flapper. Make sure that the arms of the flapper move freely on the pegs and that it drops straight down when you let go of the chain. Next, look at how the flush lever is positioned over the top of the flapper. It should pull it straight up rather than to one side. If you need to adjust it, just bend the metal rod a bit.
Also, look at the mouth of the flush valve. Is there any debris or gunk that has built up on it so that it isn't making a clean seal? Just running a scouring pad (or green scrubby) around the lip of the thing can clean it up to make a clean seal.
The 3060BP is a great product that I have used, and fits my Drakes with no issues. However, if you haven't made it work with that one, the one that actually came with your toilet is this one by Korky:
http://www.homedepot.com/p/Korky-3-...-for-Toto-G-Max-2021CM/202666003#.UbtAD_n5m6g A lot of places aren't carrying it anymore because the 3060BP can be adjusted to many toilets, but if your local HD has the 2021, it will work nicely, too, and is purpose-built for your toilet. (It's literally the same one that Toto would send you.)
If these suggestions don't get you there, another alternative is to call Korky. They are super-nice folks in Wisconsin, and their nice folks will actually get on the phone with you and walk you through it while you are doing it. If they think that maybe there is something wrong with the flapper you bought, they will just send you a new one, no questions asked. 1-800-528-3553.
Don't toss the toilet just because you're having trouble replacing the flapper. It's a flapper. On a flush valve. It's not rocket science. Just sometimes getting it tweaked can take a couple of tries or a few minutes. You'll get it fixed and then keep on loving your Totos for years to come.
BTW, if you call a plumber who works with Totos regularly (and probably even one that doesn't, as toilet anatomy is basically-similar in the tank), he's going to pull a 3060BP off the truck and drop it in your toilet, adjust it so it moves smoothly and pulls straight up, clean the flush valve, test it a bit, and make it work.
Come back to us if you don't get it resolved. It's possible though unlikely that you have a crack in the flush valve, and we can help you with that, but most likely it's just a matter of getting the flapper in there and adjusted.