Hve you looked at chlorination for iron removal? With the amount of iron you have, a softener will work but will have more problem than having no iron before a softener. Most iron medias are heavy requiring high flow rate for proper backwash. With chlorination, the iron is oxidized, any bacteria is killed and any smell (H2S) is oxidized. Follow this with a carbon unit and the only thing you have left is the hardness. It cost more up front, but the long term is worth the cost.