BPetey:
With top loading washers, there's no such thing as a "supposed ta be" height for the top of the stand pipe. As long as the top of the stand pipe is above the elevation of the water in the machine during the wash cycle, then that's all that's needed. That's cuz if the drain hose for the washer were below the level of water in the machine, water would be spilling out of that hose during the wash and rinse cycles. It's the fact that the drain hose is above the water level in the machine that keeps the wash water inside the washer.
So, I'd follow the same rule for your front loader. Hold the end of the drain hose at the elevation it'd be if it was inserted into your stand pipe, and see if any water comes out during a wash cycle. If it's nada, then the existing height of your stand pipe will keep all the water in your washer during a wash cycle and you don't need your stand pipe to be any higher than it already is.
Now, your washing machine is the canary in the coal mine when it comes to assessing the condition of your house's drain piping. That's cuz the washing machine pumps more water into your house's drain piping faster than any other appliance or fixture. So, if it turns out that your stand pipe backs up when you do laundry, it's very possible that the main drain line from your house is partially clogged up (mostly with solids from your kitchen sink), and the washer is pumping water into your drain piping faster than that water can flow through any partially clogged section of drain piping. So, if you have any water backing up as a result of doing laundry, I'd have your main drain line snaked out to remove any partial clogs.
But, if it turns out that even after cleaning the drain pipes you still get water backing up on you and you're convinced that your drain is too small, then besides redoing the drain piping with 2 inch ABS, I'd consider splicing a gate valve into the washer's drain hose and leaving partially closed to restrict the rate at which water gets pumped out of your washer. The pumps in washing machine have rubber impellers which won't be harmed by pins, buttons, coins and other stuff going through the pump. Your pump won't be harmed by restricting the flow out of the washer. All that'll happen is that it'll take a few seconds longer to pump the water out of the washing machine, but they won't feel any wetter at the end of the final spin cycle.