The noise is normal, I would recommend removing the drain adapter and confirming the button is facing the right direction. The numbers on the button should face the valve, and for a 9" tank with normal temperature water, it should be a 2.0 GPM button.
Use my programming cheat sheet below to program the valve, assuming you do not have high sediment or any iron in the water. You can even cut the backwash and fast rinse down to 5 minutes or less, this will have little negative affect on the system.
I would also recommend running the drain in 3/4" PVC, this may (or may not) reduce the noise. The noise is usually caused at the button due to the water flow being throttled down, but larger drain lines tend to help a little. I would also check your water pressure, it should be less than 80 PSI, if it is higher, get a new regulator installed. Be sure to check the pressure during the middle of the night as opposed to the early evening. Water pressures tend to raise significantly during the night.