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Thread: We are losing it

  1. #16

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    Oh, I could tell you a story about the black bear. I love story telling, have you guys noticed? lol. I love to entertain.

    Now, years ago, with the black bear, we affectionately, called the Yard Sale Bear, my husband got side-tracked from thinking right. When the bear was done visiting, he would start to walk up the hill to the forest. What he didn't want was to be followed while being offered ... bologna. I was married to a very intelligent man who lost his senses for this brief amount of time, and nearly, destroyed our marriage, if I had to shoot that bear.

    He was following the bear up the hill with his arm extended offereing the bologna. I was standing on the porch. I said, " quit doing that, come down off that hill, and leave the bear alone, he doesn't want that bologna." He didn't listen.

    The bear was now turning around still on all 4's but, his face changed. I said, " you are pissing off the bear," will you come down here.

    I noticed the bear fur was now different, kind of standing up. Never saw that before, but, I took it wasn't good. I said, " LOOK, (trying not to yell) come down here now, I swear to God, I will divorce you if I have to shoot the bear."

    Just then, the bear, honest to God, turned completely around, and stood up on all 4's. Now, this bear is fully-grown, all 350 pounds of him. He was standing straight up, fur straight up... and, now, " my usually, very intelligent husband, started to back down without turning around."

    I reached the gun and cocked it, and waited and the bear got back down on 4's... and, gave him one more look which you would have to be blind not to read and walked to the forest.

    My husband sat on the chair on the porch holding the bologna. If it wasn't so maddening, he would had looked funny. I said, " give me that bologna" and, I took it and threw it into the fire pit. He said, " what did you do that for?" I said, " to keep from shooting you." LOL.

    I told the boys, who saw this all from inside the camp, " your dad had an intelligent lapse, you NEVER do that, EVER do that."

    Even twenty later when I buy bologna, I still laugh and think of that day. Tell me, do you think that bear was bluffing?
    Last edited by Cookie; 09-05-2012 at 11:45 AM.

  2. #17

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    Hj, I got to tell you this, this happened tonite. It is absolutely true and very funny.

    One in a million, this is one in a million!

    I got home from work, and noticed the bugs started to pile up by the porch lights. I hurried in. I changed. Moments later heard my son hustling in away from the bugs. He said, " I think, I got a bug down my shirt." He is shaking his shirt and nothing coming out. We headed to the kitchen, I am asking him about his day when he said, " there is something flying around in my shirt." I help him take it off and yes, a bug flew out like crazy and it flew between my 2 toes. I started yelliing, " the bug is stuck in my toes!" I pick him out and it started to fly around, and I said, " great, now that bug will drive me crazy all night." Not so, because, Thomas, the cat, came in the kitchen, and jumped up, got him, and ate him. One in a million, I swear.

    Bob, the 25 year old cat came in, with very bad eyesight and looked around knowing there was some kind of activity. I told him he missed dinner.
    Last edited by Cookie; 09-05-2012 at 08:46 PM.

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