I Agree with what you are saying Dana,
But I am a firm believer that "You can not get something for nothing"
If You invest more than you will save big time over the long run. Doing it correct the first time, Saves Money.
But it takes Money to make Money, it takes Money to save Money...
DonL
In the advanced framing case (no exterior foam) you SAVE money while saving money. A 2x6 AF wall with R19 batts has a whole-wall R of ~R14 and costs slightly less to build & insulate than a 2x4" 16" o.c. code-min type wall with R13 batts that comes in at ~R10.
Wet spray cellulose at low density is usually cost-competitive with low-density batts for installed price, but outperforms the batts by all measures that count. (And it buys you greenie-points for being a recycled & renewable resource.)
Using smaller windows for less total glazed area, and push-out awning/casements or fixed-windows rather is cheaper, more air-tight, and higher performance than double-hungs, single-hungs or sliders. (And you get more egress area per square foot of glazing out of a casement than a doulble-hung or slider too, for meeting code for sleeping areas.) Thinking of every window as an R2-R3 hole in your R14 AF wall is the right way to think about it, most of the time. (The exception being when specifically designing in the balance of solar gain for the thermal mass of the building in heating dominated climates.) It doesn't take much window area to provide daylighting, an properly sized/scaled, even planning for scenic views can usually be done with 30% less glazed area. All it takes is planning.
Right-sizing the HVAC is usually an up-front cost savings (smaller compressors, burners, air-handlers & ducts) with double-digit percentage operating cost savings compared to typical 2-4x oversizing. (And it's more comfortable too.)
More than money, it takes
thinking and planning to save money, but it's pretty straightforward stuff if you take the time to figure it out. Even if most people building a custom new home are more interested in picking out the granite for the countertops or how many side-sprays the shower really needs, that doesn't mean that you have to spend more money to build 25-30% better thermal performance into the building envelope than an old-school code-min affair. It's only a matter of planning, which means somebody has to focus on it at least a little bit at the beginning. Again, less money up front, for higher thermal performance.
The payback on air-sealing during construction is less than one year of heating & cooling, but I s'pose even tiny money is still money... But if the performance boost from air sealing is correctly factored into the HVAC equipment sizing, it's usually net positive cash-wise from day zero. Again, saving money up front while saving money (and energy) long term. All it takes is planning.
There's no cost premium for using CRCC rated cool roof shingles, but it means your exterior color scheme has to deal with lighter hues on the roof (not just white.) In TX it'll show up on the cooling bill, if you measure it carefully.
Designing the shell to accomodate all ducts and mechanical systems inside of the conditioned space rather than above the insulation in the attic is both cash and performance positive. It means adding 12-18" to the framed height of the upper story to accomodate the ducts, but is very low cost- usually cheaper than insulating all of those ducts to code-R for placement outside of conditioned space. When ducts are inside of conditioned space leakage doesn't induce oudoor air infiltration to NEARLY the level it does if leaking into ventilated attics, and conducted losses are to/from the conditioned space as well. Even when it's at a slight up front cost (it's usually "in the noise"), it's well worth it. Cost neutral, higher performance.
Using blown cellulose vs. low density blown fiberglass or low density batts in the attic is also usually higher performance at identical rated-Rs, and cost neutral to cost-negative. (High density f.g. will match it at any given R, but for a cost premium.)
Designing the attic insulation support such that you get at least 3" of insulation over the tops of the joists or truss chords is also cost-neutral, higher performance, providing a thermal break over that framing element.
But I dunno, is the green Taiwanese marble a bit too dark to use on the floor in the bathroom, or should we go with the rose granite instead?