This is really starting to annoy me.
Take it from a Brit, if you've got a leak America CALL IN A PLUMBER! Not many good ones made it over on the boat here but hey.
And I don't see a single one.
Here's my solution: send the top hat down and freeze the water around the leak. Just like what you might do with changing a leaking main valve.
BP are sending Toto to fix a problem that requires American Standard.