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Thread: Only in Merry Ol England...

  1. #1
    Plumber Cass's Avatar
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    Default Only in Merry Ol England...

    In August, the Thorpe Park amusement facility in Chertsey, England, posted signs on its roller coaster admonishing riders not to wave their arms during the ride. According to director Mike Vallis: "We've found that when the temperature tops 77 degrees (F), the level of unpleasant (underarm) smells can become unacceptable, and we do receive complaints." [Daily Telegraph, 8-18-09]

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    Senior Robin Hood Guy Ian Gills's Avatar
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    In America, if you are stopped by the police while driving you cannot get out of your own car, even if the temperature tops 77 degrees, unless a Policeman asks you to.




    In Connecticut, You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.

    It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor in Denver.

    In Woodstock, NY it is illegal to walk your bear on the street without a leash.

    In California, community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.

    In Connecticut, you are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.

    In Florida, women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

    In New York, a fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

    It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit in Sarasota Florida.

    Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown in Florida.

    Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state in Ohio.

    In fire-sensitive Chicago, it is against the law to eat in an establishment that is on fire.

    In Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.

    Women in Joliet, Illinois, can be arrested for trying on more than six dresses in one store.

    Anyone interupting a meeting of the British Columbia Grasshopper Control Committee can be arrested.

    In Indiana, bathing is prohibited during the winter.

    Winnetka, Illinois theater managers can kick out any patron who has "odoriferous feet."

    It is illegal for a man to drink with a woman in an Edmonton beer parlour in Alberta.

    Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault" in Louisiana.

    In Iowa, kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

    In Kentucky, by law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."

    It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket in Kentucky.

    An ordinance in Lawrence, Kansas, forbids anyone to carry bees in his hat while on the city streets.

    In Louisiana, it is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

    In Winnipeg, it is against the law to go naked in your own home if you leave the blinds up.

    In Nebraska, a parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.

    In Owensboro, Kentucky, it is illegal for a woman to buy a new hat without her husband trying it on first.

    As late as 1932, jail-breaking in Texas was not a crime if the prisoner escaped without using a gun.

    In Seattle, goldfish can ride the city buses in bowls only if they keep still.

    In Burnaby all dogs must be under control by 10 pm or the owners will be penalized.

    Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked in Massachusetts.

    In Hawaii it is against the law for you to insert pennies in your ear.

    Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public in Ohio.

    An old ordinance in Massachusetts declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

    In New Jersey it's illegal to buy ice cream after 6 pm unless you have a written note from your doctor.

    In Calgary, it is unlawful to throw snowballs or set off firecrackers within the city, without the authorization of the mayor or City Council.

    Georgia has a law prohibiting people from saying "Oh boy" in public.

    It is illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.

    You can't use elephants to plow cotton fields in North Carolina.

    A by-law forbids anyone from striking the sidewalk with a metal object in Winnipeg.

    In Los Angeles, customers in meat markets are prohibited from poking a turkey to see how tender it is.

    Under California state law, it is illegal to peel an orange in a hotel room.

    In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.

    It's against the law to get a fish drunk in Oklahoma.

    No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife in Pennsylvania.

    It is illegal for women to wear false teeth without the written permission of their husbands in Vermont.

    Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property in Oklahoma.

    In Pennsylvania a special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.

    Under Alabama law, anyone who wears a false mustache in church and causes "unseemly laughter" is subject to arrest.

    It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing in Texas.

    Key West, Florida, has an ordinance prohibiting turtle racing within the city limits.

    All bicycle riders must signal with the arm before making a turn, and a bicycle rider must keep both hands on the handlebars at all times" in Edmonton.

    It is illegal to curse in front of or indecently expose a corpse in Texas.

    A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five dollar permit in Texas.

    It's against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.

    It is illegal to try and catch fish with your hands in Saskatoon.

    You are not allowed to play a musical instrument in a park in Windsor, Ontario.
    Last edited by Ian Gills; 12-24-2009 at 07:02 AM.

  3. #3
    Extreme DIY Homeowner Scuba_Dave's Avatar
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    Well if they took a shower more then once a week............
    DIY Handyman (not 4 hire)
    I have enough to do to my own house

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    Master Plumber master plumber mark's Avatar
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    Talking Ian, you really need to get a life...

    [QUOTE=Ian Gills;240643]

    In Indiana, bathing is prohibited during the winter.


    In Winnipeg, it is against the law to go naked in your own home if you leave the blinds up.




    not true, we bathe all the time here in indiana


    Yes, I can see why it might be agianst the law in any city for your wife to go naked around the house with the binds up


    wowwow

    wow, that ought to beagainst the law everywhere...










    Ian, I cant believe you typed all that stuff down
    and wasted half your day doing it...

    I think that all this "nation bashing"
    has really gone on way too long.....

    you guys ought to give it a rest.

    tell me the truth now Ian,
    aint that chick HOT

  5. #5
    Jack of all trades frenchie's Avatar
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    I'm guessing he cut & pasted it from somewhere. Like this:


    1. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is illegal throughout England. Oops! Lock me up, maybe the only day where pretty much everybody will break the law.

    2. If a postage stamp with the Queens head on is placed upside down it is counted as Treason, which still carries the death penalty. Hmm do you think the Queen knows of this law?

    3. In the lovely place which is York it is still legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow, on all days except Sundays. The Scottish best stay away.

    4. It is still very much legal to shoot a Welshman with a crossbow, only after midnight and if done within the city walls. Hmm looks like the Welsh should stay away too.

    5. It is very illegal to stand within one hundred yards of a ruling Monarch if you are not wearing any socks. What is they smell really bad dose that count.

    6. It is illegal for an MP to enter Parliament, wearing a suit of armour, this obviously stops duels from happening. Doesn’t seem to stop the shouting though.

    7. Interestingly enough it is illegal to die within the houses of Parliament. What’s the court hearing going to be like if that happens?

    8. The law allows any pregnant women to relieve themselves in public. The law sure is disgusting.

    9. It is illegal to wrestle an untrained bull in public. I would certainly like to ask them why they would want too.

    10. It is against the law to allow your pet to get it on with any pet of the Royal House. This carries the death penalty and you will be executed. Not your pet YOU!.

    That’s the ten, but I do have one more which I think is hilarious.


    or this



    It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament
    Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned
    In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants
    Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.
    It is still an offence to beat or shake any carpet rug or mat in any street in the Metropolitan Police District, although you are allowed to shake a doormat before 8am.
    Londoners are not allowed to keep a pigsty in the front of their homes.
    The Library Offences Act of 1898 makes it illegal to gamble in a library.
    The Metropolitan Police Act of 1839 states that no one, “except persons acting in obedience to lawful authority, may discharge any cannon or other firearm of greater calibre than a common fowling-piece, within 300 yards of any dwelling house, to the annoyance of any inhabitant thereof”.
    One may not drive a cow while drunk.
    In Scotland it is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow.
    Ban on firing a cannon close to a dwelling house (Met Police Act 1839)
    Ban on the use of any slide upon ice or snow (Town Police Clauses Act 1847)
    Prohibition of driving cattle through the streets of London (Metropolitan Streets Act 1867)
    In London, it is illegal for a person with the Plague to flag down a taxi. No cab may carry corpses or rabid dogs.
    It is illegal to sell most goods on a Sunday. It is however legal to sell a carrot. It is also legal to sell it at any price, and to give free gifts with it, such as anything else one might want to buy on a Sunday.

    The following are legal though:
    - a male may urinate in public, so long as it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle, and his right hand is on the vehicle.
    - all English males over the age of 14 are to carry out approximately two hours of longbow practice a week, supervised by the local clergy.



    or this:


    Ireland has some weird laws!:

    It is illegal for a student to walk through Trinity College without a sword.

    In Trinity college students can demand a glass of wine at any time during an exam, provided they are wearing their sword.

    It is illegal to smoke any form of tobacco on Grafton St. in Dublin

    Practicing or pretending to practice any form of witchcraft or occult arts (that includes horoscopes, tarot cards, crystal ball reading, palmistry, reading tea leaves, iridology, divination etc). This also includes healing by occult means (that would include Reki, energy balancing, acupuncture or acupressure, yoga and many other new age pseudo scientific methods which have their roots in eastern religions) is punishable by being locked in the stocks of outside of Dublin Castle (roughly around the Temple Bar area) for 6 months and rotten fruit can be pelted at the culprit. (anyone want to rat out fabulous Fergus or the operators on the tarot line who's advert is shown on TV all the time!)

    England has some pretty dangerous laws too!

    England

    · With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.

    · All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

    · London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.

    · It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).

    · It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.

    · A Chelsea Pensioner may not be impersonated.

    · A bed may not be hung out of a window.

    · It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.

    · Mince pies are not to be eaten on Christmas Day.

    · Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin.

    · It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.

    · Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.

    · It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.

    · If a steam locomotive is driven on roads, a man must walk in front of the vehicle with a red flag during the day and a red lantern at night to warn passers-by.

    · All steam locomotives are limited to 4mph on roads.

    · You may not make out in public.

    · It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

    · Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime.

    · Interfering with the mail or sleeping with the consort of the Queen is classed as treason, and as such, carries a maximum penalty of death.

    · Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason.

    . Freemen (or women) of the city of London (Those who have had the honour of the freedom of the city bestowed upon them) have the right to heard their cattle over any of London's bridges at any time)

    Chester

    · You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

    Hereford

    · You may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close.

    Liverpool

    · It is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store, or in a bank if handling foreign currency.

    London

    · Companies may vote in local elections.

    York

    · Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow

    Scotland:

    You may not fish on Sundays.

    It is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow.

    Trespassing on someone else's land is legal.

    You are presumed guilty until proven innocent for some crimes.

    If someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter.
    Master Plumber Mark:

    there is nothing better than the
    manly smell of WD 40 in the air
    while banging away on brass with a chisel and hammer...

    it smells like......victory......

    do not hit your thumb...
    __________________
    Just so everyone's clear: I'm the POODLE in the picture ("french", get it?) The hot woman is my wife.

  6. #6
    Senior Robin Hood Guy Ian Gills's Avatar
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    I think that all this "nation bashing"
    has really gone on way too long.....
    We're all one and the same Mark.

    What's yours is mine.

    Merry Christmas.

  7. #7
    In the Trades Gary Swart's Avatar
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    Behind every one of these silly laws lies a story probably long forgotten...maybe best forgotten! Thanks to those who dug these up and shared them.

  8. #8
    Plumber Cass's Avatar
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    Old, Crazy Laws

    I thought that I would lighten things up a bit here this week and have some fun. This week’s articles are about old, laws that are actually still on the books in a lot of these United States. Some of these you may have heard before and some will be new to you. Enjoy.

    Women and the Law:

    In Michigan, women are not allowed to go to the hair stylist to have your hair altered in any way without your husband’s express permission.

    In Florida, it is illegal for women to fall asleep while under a hair dryer in a hair salon and if you are an unmarried thrill seeker, you had better go someplace else because unmarried women cannot skydive on Sundays in Florida either.

    A woman in Memphis, Tennessee is not allowed to drive a car down the road without a man walking in front of her and carrying a red flag to warn other drivers. (I love that one.)

    Animals:

    In Pennsylvania, if you are driving down a road in your car and you see a team of skittish horses coming toward you, you have to get out of the vehicle, dismantle it piece by piece and hide it in the bushes until the horses pass by so you do not scare them.

    In Missouri, it is unlawful to drive down the highway with an uncaged bear in your car.

    In Orlando, Florida, when you park your elephant at a meter, you need to deposit the same amount as you would a car.

    Blue Laws:

    In Salem, West Virginia, it is illegal to eat candy and hour and a half before church service begins.

    No restaurant in Kansas is allowed to serve cherry pie on Sunday either.

    It is illegal to eat ice cream at the counter of the Ice Cream shop in Winona Lake, Wisconsin on Sunday.

    You can also not play with marbles, dominoes, or yo-yos on Sunday in a few States either.

    If you plan on molesting butterflies, don’t do it in California for it is illegal there.

    Other Crazy Laws:

    Did you know that if you live in Alabama, it is illegal for you to drive a car while blindfolded?

    In Florida, it is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

    In Kentucky, no one is considered drunk until they can no longer hold onto the ground.

    Also, in Kentucky, if you plan on transporting an ice cream cone in your pocket, you had better think again because it is illegal to do so there.

    A parent can be arrested in Nebraska if their child burps in church and finally:

    Any woman living in New Mexico cannot appear in public unshaven.

    I hope you enjoyed reading these laws as much as I enjoyed finding them. There are so many crazy old laws in the states, have some fun and look up some more in your state.

  9. #9

  10. #10

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    I hate that one, lol.

    quoted by cass:
    A woman in Memphis, Tennessee is not allowed to drive a car down the road without a man walking in front of her and carrying a red flag to warn other drivers. (I love that one.)


    and, I am not dismantling my car. The horses are on their own.

  11. #11
    Senior Robin Hood Guy Ian Gills's Avatar
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    Smile

    Lol Lol Lol

  12. #12
    Consultant cwhyu2's Avatar
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    now I feel bad that didn`t know all this useless info

  13. #13
    Master Plumber Redwood's Avatar
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    Oh you like our Connecticut Blue Laws?

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