View Full Version : When I am Governor of the Colony

Ian Gills
01-16-2011, 12:16 PM
Word has it that the Royal wedding will soon be followed by a recolonization of the United States.

That means I'm in line for Governor and I'm starting to make some plans to make your lives a little different.

The first two things I am going to fix in this pesky country are as follows.

First, all traffic lights will no longer be hung from flimsy bits of cheap American wire that snap and fail in high winds. They will be hung from galvanized steel poles, as in the rest of the Kingdom.

Second, there will be no more cheaping out on "left turn only" or "right turn only" lanes. There will be signs and road markings so that drivers know they are in a turn only lane well in advance of the junction.

In doing these things I will make Americans less cheap.

God Save the Queen.


01-16-2011, 04:06 PM
Oh please don't make us wear those silly socks Ian.
Not the socks!

01-17-2011, 01:27 AM
The socks and hats we can live with, but not driving on the wrong side of the road.

Together, we can restart transportation of criminals and also colonize China and take India back. Our manifest destiny.

And we can teach you how to build autos and motorcycles that do not leak oil.

And help breed the floppiness out of the English girls.

01-26-2011, 11:16 AM
I would be willing to help with the girls! LOL

01-26-2011, 08:14 PM
I would be willing to help with the girls! LOL

Only if they get their teeth fixed first....

Ian Gills
01-27-2011, 03:40 PM
Another thing I will do is put some serious Federal money into clearing snowy roads.

It was a disaster with the weather in Washington last night. 8 inches of snow.

Fortunately, I walk to work so I got home easy. People that drove and emit greenhouse gases spent last night in their cars.

Greedy Americans don't want to spend tax dollars again. Is there anything you would open your wallets for?

Irish Americans must be the worst. Thrift is in their genes.

01-29-2011, 09:51 AM
Must be Irish snow plows and drivers.

Use snow as an excuse to not go anywhere for a few days. Read a hard book, the dying art.

I'll open my wallet for the government to give me my share of those absurd unused stainless steel vessels they spent a billion on. And for my share of the Afghan schools that we build and get shot at while doing.

I think my wallets open for about a 28,000$ deposit from dopey uncle sam.